rakish richard's rants...

The Spangler

'Twas a warm summer's eve, on a train bound for Chiang Mai,
I met up with the Spangler, we were both too tired to read.
So we took turns a-starin' out the window at the jungle.
When a local on a bike overtook us, he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made a life out of selling Nike shoes.
Knowin' what their size was by the sound of their footsteps.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of laces,
For a taste of your Ouzo, I'll throw some in free if you buy some trainers..."

So, our move to stay somewhere a little closer to the herbal sauna paid big dividends, and I'm glowing like Yamashita's Gold now. For my second consecutive sauna, I opted for the moisturising Tamarind body scrub, which I thought was wise after yesterday's exfoliating session. According to Cosmo, results are 64% better if you follow an exfoliation with a moisturiser, and I know who I believe.*

We were staying at the Happy Huts, down south on Koh Chang on a beach called Bai Lan. The owner Steve (just a little bit of a tall tale teller) sorted us out, and we had seen our first massive lizard within hours of arriving. There was a lot of atmos at this place, with a rotting boat hull outside the restaurant being the best prop to date.

Our second day there was deemed another of the now famous 'Activity Days', taking the team out snorkelling. The promised 'fishing' component of the trip was merely a couple of hand lines thrown over the edge, with Aaron and I hauling in several fish that were, awww, centimetres in length! Our trip took us south of the fishing village Bang Bao, visiting 4 islands for snorkelling stops along the way. As was the way on our way to Flores, there was a lot of novelty diving partaken - Aaron executing a beautiful back flip in front of hoards of adoring Israeli's. I was happy to sit modestly in the shade, but Jules's taunt of, "That's better than anything you can do!" prompted me to take to the top rail and better my best friend's efforts.

Just so that I wouldn't make him look bad, I decided to land flat on my back from the top rail, and my howl of pain could apparently be heard from the beach, summoning monkeys, dogs, and other animals that respond only to loud, girlish yelps of distress. We read by the light of by burning back for the rest of the night...

After shuffling out of there though, our intrepid team of four braced themselves for another 'travel day', when tensions run high and sleep is often at a premium. Our whistle stop tour took us off Koh Chang by ferry, by truck to Traat (I only ever go by truck to Traat, truth be told, train's terribly tiresome...) then on a lush government bus to Bangkok, where we didn't have 'one night', choosing to catch the night train up to Chiang Mai, and the opening lines of this post.

We're staying now at 'Nice Place 2', which has a pool sooooo chlorinated that it has stripped the enamel from my teeth, but we've arrived safely and are booked in for some trekking over the next few days before we cross over into sunny, sunny Laos.

Here's my poem about Laos;

Oh Laos,
do I have the nouse,
to dowse,
my fear of the mouse?

if you think you can do better, please post it under the comments section. Keep it to 4 lines, all rhyming, and the first line must be 'Oh Laos'. Take your syllables and do what you wish...

Lastly, a big shoutout to my readers in America, particularly those in corn-riddled Minnesota - the land of the 205mph bikers. You're in my heart, you're in my soul, keep reading my blog 'til I grow old...

OK, this is getting to be a big post. When I return, there'll be elephants!, long necks!, bamboo rafts!, and juggling little people - juggling other little people!

Your man, with the bronzed tan,

Arch :)

PS: I can't guarantee the little people will actually be juggling other little people, sorry...

*It should however be noted, that 72% of statistics are made up on the spot.

posted by Arch @ 7:07 PM